When in doubt, look for the fear

Fear changes our behaviour.

By way of example (and for your amusement) consider my relationship with spiders.

For as long as I can remember I’ve been afraid of spiders. Treat yourself to a real life war story from 2017.

Growing up I used to avoid getting in my dad’s old Ford Laser when it was parked under a certain tree at home (my sister and I still refer to it as the “spider tree”).

This wasn’t because I didn’t want to go anywhere, or that I took issue with my family, I was simply afraid.

The fear changed my behaviour. In fact, it still does. To this day I avoid parking too close to the tree when visiting my parents.

Now think about the behaviour of the co-worker you don’t understand, the boss who seems to be always stressed or the family member who you’re always disagreeing with.

What might they be afraid of? What’s their equivalent of a spider?